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Devin

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"He fucked me!" [Dec. 19th, 2009|01:26 pm]
[mood | awake]

No, the title of this entry is not what I cried out after a narrow escape from Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. It's what Joon, one of my students from Gal-Hyun, shouted when one of his friends flipped him off. The fact that I heard his accusation and didn't smile or laugh about it until class had ended is proof positive that I'm either stronger-willed or slower-witted than I was when I first came to Korea.

Once again, I've broken my record for the length of time spent without writing a blog entry, which has led some of my dear readers to voice their concerns. This is both flattering and understandable, since I usually wait less than a month between entries. These last few weeks, however, have been rather stressful, mostly because of work-related issues. Therapeutic as writing may be and widespread as I know my feelings are right now, I get so agitated when I think about some of the recent goings-on that it would be impossible for me to write about them without turning the entry into an angry screed and possibly having an aneurysm. Though some of my dear readers would no doubt enjoy reading it, I think I'm far more entertaining and interesting to read when I make at least a token effort to keep my senses about me. They're small, weak, and easily startled, and it takes me quite some time to gather them up again when I lose them.

That said, I do appreciate the attention that my personal writing space receives. If stories about the minutiae of my daily life are enough to leave my audience anticipating the next entry, it bodes well for my future as a writer. I write for myself first and foremost, but I'm glad that there are people who keep up with my writings. Thank you all, dear readers, for your continued support.

Luckily for all of us, many things have happened in the last few weeks that I can talk about without endangering my health. I was an extra and grip in a movie directed by EV alumnus Kris, contributed a cheesecake to a Thanksgiving potluck dinner, and toured Gyeongbokgung with Tiffany when I saw her for the first time in over a month. I recently uploaded pictures of all three events, and I have even more to upload when time permits. They might even make it onto Facebook.

I finished reading The God Delusion a couple of weeks ago. Religion has been a complicated subject for me since high school, and I read the book at the suggestion of friends and in hopes of finding a counterbalance to the Christian doctrine that I was raised to accept as truth. I'm not one to dismiss an idea without at least making an effort to understand it, and Richard Dawkins is perhaps the best-known atheist alive today, so I imagined he'd be able to give a comprehensive explanation of atheist philosophy. I agree with much of what he says in The God Delusion, and I can certainly appreciate his use of humor and thorough research to expose the inconsistencies, absurdities, and barbarisms of religious dogma and the mindsets of its most ardent defenders. The book may not achieve its intended purpose of turning everyone who reads it into an atheist - which Dawkins, with amazing transparency, openly states in the preface - but I firmly believe that it is a book more people should read. If nothing else, it will help them realize that atheism is a viable option...and make them lose any respect they may have had for Martin Luther.

Since completing The God Delusion, I've started reading Good Omens and doing a lot of gaming and writing. I played Fallout 3 regularly while waiting for a new analog stick for my PSP to be delivered, and made steady progress through it once I started exploiting V.A.T.S. Disintegrating humanoids with successful head shots will probably never get old. Now that my analog stick has arrived, however, I'm taking a break from exploring the Wasteland to conquer ancient China. I'm now blazing through Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce and adding to my FAQ as I go. I'm hoping to finish it before my PS3 arrives in Korea, because I won't have a prayer of getting any other kind of gaming (or anything else) done once I open that package.

On a more solemn note, EV has lost many more good teachers over the past few weeks, including Anna, Scott, Rebecca, and Shawn. I don't know the first three well enough to say anything suitably flattering about them, but Shawn has been part of the EV crew for the last three years and a good friend and traveling companion over the past few months. This, and the positive reaction to our videos from Vietnam and Thailand, inspired me to put together an outro movie for him. I made it entirely in Windows Movie Maker, using videos recorded on my camera and photos contributed by Shawn. We played it on his last Friday, and it was very well-received. If people keep leaving and I keep refining my art, this might become a profitable venture.

Non-Facebook users who want to see my handiwork can watch the video here. It's my first, so keep the criticism gentle.

Come Tuesday afternoon, I'll be completely finished with my Teaching for Understanding course. My last day at Gal-Hyun will consist of having a 20-minute Christmas party with my students and choosing one of them to speak about the class. Considering that I already have my certificate and I get to write my little valedictorian's speech, this ceremony seems less than pointless to me...but there is great potential to let my creativity run rampant.

Tiffany's busy this weekend and out of town the weekend after, so it looks like I'll be getting a lot of gaming and writing done between now and next Sunday. We also have students this coming week, so I'll finally find out if I remember how to do my job.
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The times they are a-changin' [Nov. 14th, 2009|02:03 pm]
[mood | exanimate]

Yesterday was Tyler's last Friday at EV. He was adored by most of his coworkers and viewed with more ambivalence by others, but no one can dispute his passion or his popularity with the students, which was immense enough to border on idolatry. The loss of a man with such passion is a great loss for EV, but the way he left and the response to the remarks made as he did is proof of the impact he had here. Good luck to you, Mr. Frazier, wherever you may go in the future.

After wearing my hair in a topknot to a meeting that two of EV's bigwigs attended, I was politely informed by admin after work on Thursday that I needed a more professional-looking hairstyle. I decided not to put myself at greater risk of disciplinary action, so I wore a more low-key style on Friday and had Lauren shave off my mohawk that evening. I never expected to keep it for very long, but it was fun to try something wild and crazy that was well-received by most of my fellow EV employees. I am, however, glad to have short hair again; I no longer have to spend 15 minutes making it look presentable in the morning, and I no longer feel tempted to become a punk rocker or take up smoking. It's amazing how much a change in hairstyle can change one's personal perception.

Unfortunately, due to being strapped for time and exhausted after a productive week, I wasn't able to make it to Brian's birthday dinner. Apologies go out to anyone who was looking forward to seeing me there, but Flipmasters B and D will definitely have to work their collective magic again soon.

Tiffany's busy this weekend, so my plans for Saturday have changed from spending all day with her to doing absolutely nothing. I may try to fill my empty schedule with a trip to Yongsan Electronics Market and an attempt to fix my DVD player, or I may spend the better part of the weekend hiding in my apartment, browsing the Internet, catching up with old friends, and doing the odd bit of writing. If anyone from Tulsa feels like having a Skype conversation sometime in the next 36 hours, please let me know.
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"You should fall down the stairs more often." [Nov. 12th, 2009|12:51 am]
[mood | productive]

The title of this entry comes from Sunjoo and me, who said it to fellow TfU classmate Greg at our Monday night meeting. His accident inspired Meredith to bake a batch of sympathy brownies, which she happily shared with the rest of the class. Sunjoo suggested that we push Greg down the stairs after class, which I never would have expected to hear from such a sweet and demure woman. She's obviously been spending too much time around me.

I finally got around to uploading pictures of my Halloween costume, last weekend's outings for drinks and shabu-shabu, and my new haircut, which are available for viewing on both Flickr and Facebook. I gave my friend [info]diablaxmachina creative license as she cut my hair, and the result was a mohawk that can be styled in countless different ways. I wore it as a relatively conservative comb over today, which Shawn and a few other Westerners said was reminiscent of Zorg's hairstyle in The Fifth Element. All I need to do is grow a soul patch, start selling weapons to aliens, and keep my current hairstyle until next October, and I'll have my Halloween costume already.

My Korean coworkers, on the other hand, said I looked like G-Dragon once they regained their powers of speech. It's not quite what I was going for, but it was very flattering to hear it.

Not much else is new and interesting enough to blog about. With no students, I've been spending my workdays developing like a transsexual undergoing hormone replacement therapy, and I've done lots of lesson designing, proofreading, and revising of lesson plans and PowerPoints. I've also been working on a FAQ for Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce in my spare time, but was forced to stop when my PSP's analog stick broke. As soon as I can return to the game without disintegrating the bones in my left thumb, I'll continue to work on the FAQ; in the meantime, I'll enjoy being able to go back to my apartment without feeling compelled to turn something I do for fun into a teaching opportunity.

In closing, I'd like to share a picture that one of the Gal-Hyun students drew for me earlier this week. Even when I told her that I wanted to make a copy of it and post it on the Internet, she was more than happy to give it to me. It's funny to a casual observer, and downright hilarious to anyone who knows what I can expect during a typical day in the classroom.
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"Look also free." [Oct. 31st, 2009|06:57 pm]
[mood | bored]

The title of this entry comes from a Thai clothing merchant, who included it among the list of reasons that he was superior to the competition. He gets credit for making me chuckle, at least.

Speaking of Thai people and Thailand, I have more stories from my trip. Sit back and enjoy, dear readers.

( Cut for length. )

In closing, I would like to share the following tips and insights with anyone planning a visit to Thailand:

-Thailand, so far as I've seen, is the fattest country in Southeast Asia.
-The most common methods of transportation in Thailand are tuk-tuks, motorcycles, and trucks with massive numbers of people piled in the back. The last two might be free if you have friends in the right places, but taking tuk-tuks is an option best avoided by all except spendthrifts or the terminally lazy.
-Give stray dogs a wide berth. There are quite a few of them, and it's estimated that as many as 10% of them have rabies.
-The fastest way to get female attention in Phuket is to politely refuse a woman who's offering you a massage. Some of them will just whine about it, but others have more effective methods of persuasion.
-Don't shake hands with, talk to, or make eye contact with anyone in Phuket unless you're seriously thinking about buying something...and if you are, be ready to pay a lot more for it than normal unless you haggle.

Thus ends the saga of my second Chuseok vacation. Thanks go out to Shawn for being so easy to travel with, and to anyone who actually read my exhaustively lengthy posts about the trip. Now that they're finished, I'll go back to providing people with updates that take less time to read than they do to type.

Finally, happy Halloween to all of my dear readers! I'll soon post pictures of myself in costume, both with and without colored hair.
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"I think I got swimmer's balls from jumping off the top deck." [Oct. 19th, 2009|11:28 am]
[mood | sleepy]

The title of this entry comes from Erik, a Dutch companion on the trip to Ha Long Bay. I can't say I've ever heard of swimmer's balls before, but it sounds substantially worse than swimmer's ear.

It's been nearly two weeks since I got back my Chuseok vacation with Shawn, so I figure I'd better write about it before I forget all of the interesting experiences that weren't preserved in videos or pictures. This entry is likely to become absurdly long, so readers who are pressed for time may want to print it out and read it, novel-like, over the next few days...or at least grab a snack before starting.

( Cut for length and culinary experiences that may disturb those with weak stomachs. )

I'll close with a couple of observations about the Vietnamese lifestyle and culture:

-The Vietnamese language does not sound natural unless it is spoken in a nasal falsetto.
-Motorcycles aside, the most common forms of transportation in Vietnam are feet and wombs. I'm not kidding. I saw more pregnant women during my four days in Vietnam than I saw in an entire year in South Korea.
-The Vietnamese people have more of a survivalist mentality than those who come from more prosperous countries, but they're still fundamentally trustworthy. Just don't forget to haggle with anyone who's providing goods or services for an unlisted price.
-If a Vietnamese person says that something is dangerous, it really is dangerous. They don't use that word lightly.

Thus does the story of my travels in Vietnam end. Stay tuned for the exhilarating account of my travels in Thailand...when time permits.
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"Suck my Ivy League certification!" [Oct. 18th, 2009|06:53 pm]
[mood | busy]

The title of this entry comes from yours truly, who uttered it during a conversation with some coworkers and fellow takers of the Teaching for Understanding course. Two months from now, I'll look forward to using this line on anyone who believed that I'd never receive accolades from an Ivy League university.

Life at English Village remains busy, fulfilling, and fraught with change. I have to work 9-6 for the next three months, and if I'm not teaching an OWP class, planning a lesson, doing a TfU practicum at Gal-Hyun Elementary School, or learning more about the TfU framework in the classroom, I'm probably sleeping. Sundays are the only days on which I'm consistently free anymore, and I usually spend them working my way through Dissidia: Final Fantasy, killing time on Facebook, catching up on blog entries and e-mails, and talking to anyone interesting who happens to be online when I am. I'm trying to find more time to talk to people back home, so we'll see how or if that works out.

The pub closed the week before last, which is still a little difficult for me to swallow. I and a few other EV teachers suggested we be allowed to run the pub ourselves, but the suggestion just didn't take...something about a "conflict of interests," "moral turpitude," or other such nonsense. News of its closing spread far and fast, and many EV alumnae showed up to drink a final round on the last night the pub was open. I showed up for a little while, and took a few photos before slipping away into the night like a stray cat. Until it reopens, I'll have to content myself with fond memories of beer pong and tippy cup tournaments, karaoke nights, and late-night outings for dinner that led to lengthy conversations, and be willing to make the trek to Jjoki Jjoki if I'm in desperate need of a drink.

Later that week, I went to Seoul to celebrate Lauren's birthday party, which consisted mainly of a lengthy bus ride with a suicidal bus driver, several minutes of wandering around in search of On the Border, and then a great deal of eating, drinking, and lively conversation. I took some photos on the bus and at the restaurant, where our motley crew of partygoers ran into no fewer than three other EV teachers. It's a small country we live in.

This past Thursday, I decided to take half the day off and finally go to the doctor to ask about my allergies. Being congested for a week or two at the beginning of spring and fall is perfectly normal for me, but being congested for seven straight weeks is a little worrisome. The doctor asked about my symptoms and wrote me a prescription for some anti-allergy pills, which I'm supposed to take three times a day for the next four days. If I'm not feeling better after I finish the last dose tomorrow, I'll come back and see what else he has to recommend. I also asked him about a possible monkey scratch I got in Thailand and the risk of contracting rabies from it, but he didn't think that I had any cause for concern. I know I have a tendency to worry excessively about my health, but if a medical professional doesn't think that my life is in danger, I should probably take his word for it.

The following night, I watched District 9 with some coworkers. It's a science fiction film about aliens who become stranded in South Africa and their interactions with the humans who live there. Filmed by Peter Jackson, it's rich with cultural and historical references, gory death scenes, and swearing in Afrikaans. It was inspired by the Halo movie, and I can see many such influences in the design of the aliens, their weapons, and their vehicles. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and would recommend it to other fans of Jackson's films, especially those who like to think about how the movies they watch could be translated into video games.

Yesterday, I got to see Tiffany for the first time in three weeks. We decided to go to an Italian restaurant called Mad for Garlic to belatedly celebrate our first 100 days as a couple, and I stopped by a nearby bookstore and bought a copy of Richard Dawkins's The God Delusion to read while I waited for her. In spite of a traffic jam caused by a massive fire and a festival that kept the streets closed to incoming traffic, she made it, and we made the most of our time together before she had to meet up with her sister. We ordered entirely too much food, and we talked about current events and possible future plans as we ate it. Between the anti-allergy pills I discreetly downed and the flu shot she gave me while we were there, I'm surprised that no one called the police and complained that I was abusing drugs in the restaurant. It would have made for an even more interesting evening, to say the least.

I'm almost sorry that we didn't save room for dessert, because this restaurant even puts garlic on its gelato. Yes, on its fucking gelato. It may sound like a culinary crime, but I'm curious enough that I'd go back to try it.

I'm still compiling my blog posts about the Chuseok trip. I don't like making promises I can't keep, so I'll just say that they'll be up when they're up. If I can ever steal the videos that Shawn recorded, I'll post them to my Flickr album, but they're only available on Facebook for the time being. If watching me drink a snake and get swarmed by hungry monkeys isn't a good incentive to join Facebook, I don't know what is.
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"I'm older than she is. I don't have to show her respect." [Sep. 21st, 2009|10:28 pm]
[mood | busy]

Today's subject line comes from Shawn, who made the comment in jest after finding out that he was a few months older than my girlfriend. I, in turn, warned him that he did have to show her respect, because I have very bony elbows.

For the first time in entirely too long, I've posted new pictures. My old camera developed an insatiable appetite for batteries a few weeks ago, so I went to Yongsan Electronics Market and bought a newer, nicer one with some help from Andrew and Juree. All the photos from karaoke night at the pub were taken with my sweet new camera, so if there's no noticeable difference in quality, blame my mediocre skills as a photographer.

For those who haven't yet heard, I applied and was subsequently chosen to take an online Teaching for Understanding course through Harvard. It started last week and runs for the next three months, during which I and the other candidates will attend face-to-face sessions with our mentor two or three times each week and apply what we learn in the classroom by either visiting local schools or teaching students who come to English Village. Most of the work involved in the course is done in groups, and the strength of our support network and amount of time given to complete the assignments have me much less worried about it than I was initially. It'll also look quite good on a resume, so I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity to develop my professional credentials. I'll get a certificate when I'm finished, and I won't have to pay for it as long as I stay at EV for an additional year after completing the course, so I should expect to be here at least through December of 2010. This gives me a good incentive to get my PS3 shipped to Korea, though I would do so only at great risk to my social life. I'm still trying to convince myself that socializing is overrated.

On the subject of games, my poison of choice for the last few weeks has been Dissidia: Final Fantasy, which is SquareEnix's answer to Super Smash Bros. It features the heroes and villains of the first ten FF games joining forces with one of two opposing deities and fighting in numerous one-on-one battles to determine the fate of the universe. The graphics and sound, as one would expect from a SquareEnix game, are surprisingly good, and the controls are smooth and responsive. The characters' movesets and equipment are highly customizable, there are countless special features to unlock, and all but the easiest battles are delightfully intense. I've never played a game that allowed me to so faithfully simulate duels in the style of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - let alone on a portable system - and I consider this the game's biggest selling point. Its biggest drawback, on the other hand, is that one must replay certain parts of the game several times to find all of the secrets or complete the most demanding accomplishments, which can be tedious to players who aren't completely enraptured by the battle system.

Originally, I was neither good at nor particularly fond of the game, but I find that I'm enjoying it more as I experiment with more characters and get a better handle on the battle mechanics. If I ever meet someone at EV who has both a PSP and a copy of the game, I'll have to see how well my opponent can cope with a relentless magical assault from Terra. Unfortunately, much like playing through the Rendezvous missions in Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions, I doubt this will come to pass anytime soon.

With the onset of autumn, my allergies have been acting up again. I started feeling stuffy when I was in Houston and still haven't completely recovered, which makes this the worst case of allergies I've had in recent memory. I started to worry when I had chest pains last week, but they subsided in a couple of days and I'm breathing a little more easily now. I'm hoping that the improvement continues between now and Saturday, because my trip to Vietnam and Thailand with Shawn won't be nearly as entertaining if I'm struggling to breathe the entire time. If I'm going to see sights that will take my breath away, I want to have enough breath to spare.

I spent over an hour yesterday filling in my Wise English learning log. As engaging and mentally stimulating activities go, it's right up there with watching flies fornicate, but it's one of the best ways to familiarize myself with the rules, markings, and methodology of Wise English. I have to teach these to a group of students at Gal-Hyun Elementary School over the next few months, so it's crucial for me to have a firm grasp on them. I'll also need to buy a folder in which to keep my lesson plans (which I'll be preparing before each class) and the students' assignments, which I'll use to gauge their understanding of the concepts presented rather than giving their parents proof that they did something.

More so than I have since my days as an education major, I feel like a real teacher right now.
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Another reader question [Sep. 10th, 2009|09:42 pm]
[mood | curious]

In an attempt to divert my mind from the many sources of stress I've been faced with lately, I would like to present my dear readers with a question.

Consider the following facts:

-Beards are associated with wisdom and high placement in the social hierarchy.
-Height is associated with authority and high placement in the social hierarchy.

If you were equally familiar with both people, who would you more readily follow in a crisis: a short man with a beard, or a tall man with no facial hair?
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"Between Brett, Boner, and Josh, I don't know what to call you anymore." [Sep. 7th, 2009|04:19 am]
[mood | hungry]

Today's subject line is courtesy of Christa, whose utterance during a conversation with a coworker was far too amusing not to immortalize in the blogosphere.

My week in the U.S.A. was very peaceful and relaxing. I spent most of my time in Houston with the family, though my brother Jeff and I took a trip to Tulsa to see old friends and pick up some things I'd left in storage. The eight-hour drive was far less arduous with a disc jockey, conversational companion, and emergency backup driver in the car, and my parents were generous enough to foot the bill for a night's stay at the Embassy Suites. Jeff was surprisingly well-behaved when [info]spacepixie, [info]noblexperiment, [info]zugrian, and Ryan dropped by the hotel room for a visit, and he even came up with some ideas for a drinking game that gave everyone an excuse to taste the sweet tea vodka Ryan brought with him. Unfortunately, we weren't able to make good on Amber's suggestion of getting Rock Band going in the suite, though we did take an after-hours dip in the hotel hot tub that was cut short by a patrolling staff member.

Many thanks go out to everyone in Tulsa who made time to see me, and especially to Amber for baking and sharing such a delicious cake. Contrary to its appearance and the sugary label it bore, it was not full of fail. The next time I plan on coming to town, I'll be sure to give everyone more notice...and try to be around when fewer people are busy with work and/or school.

During my abundant free time in Houston, I learned that my parents had a Wii, which had never been taken out of its box. This was an anathema to the resident apostle of console gaming, so I persuaded them to hook it up and personally created Miis for all of my family members. I also got my dad to start playing Resident Evil 4, which I think he'll enjoy immensely if he ever adjusts to the controls. Having played through the game multiple times on the PS2, I know which version's control scheme feels more intuitive.

I safely returned to English Village at 7 PM last Sunday and went back to work at 9 AM on Monday, and there's not been a dull moment since. There were no OWP students at EV this past week, nor will there be for the next two weeks, so my coworkers and I have been attending a series of meetings and training sessions to address and prepare for a number of imminent changes. Without going into too much detail, EV is developing a new curriculum of which the Wise English teaching method will be a core element, and changes to our working hours and the structure of the departments are likely to follow. Additionally, we've been given the opportunity to take a course to learn about teaching for understanding, a fascinating theory of education that contradicts everything I thought I knew about how to write an effective lesson plan. The more I learn, the more I must unlearn.

It should come as no surprise when I say that the changes have inspired a wide range of strong emotions and opinions in the EV staff. Even I have my concerns, though I prefer not to express most of them publicly. My internal clock seems to be set so that I sleep through dinner and wake up sometime after midnight, but as soon as I get it properly reset, I'll be happy to share more information with friends on other continents. It might help to get some fresh perspectives.

In the midst of all the uncertainty, I found time to talk to Shawn and make plans for Chuseok. We'll be spending a week flying from Vietnam to Thailand and back again, which should afford us many opportunities to see the sights and knock back a few drinks with other foreign travelers. Tomorrow (or later today, as the case may be), we head into Seoul to get our documents in order and make all of the necessary preparations for the trip. One of the areas we'll be visiting is known to have a high rate of malaria infection, so getting the necessary medication will be one of our top priorities.

After two exciting weeks in a row, I was thrilled to see Tiffany this weekend. We traveled to Incheon by subway to see the Global Fair & Festival, an event devoted to technological and cultural advancements all around the world. It included an exhibit about environmental stewardship, many "neighborhoods" devoted to different regions of the world, and a teddy bear museum which reminded me of the Magic Kingdom's It's a Small World attraction without water or audio-animatronic children. There were many performers in the streets - including a group of musicians and acrobats with painted faces and pirate-inspired costumes who put on a performance by the front gate - and a massive central stage where we got to see 2AM perform later in the evening. We had to bow out during the intermission in order to catch the bus back to Seoul, but after spending an hour waiting and talking to a helpful cab driver, we decided to have him take us to a different bus stop. He raced the bus to our destination, passing it along the way and dropping us off seconds before it pulled up. We were concerned that I wouldn't make it to Hapjeong in time to catch the last bus back to EV, but I had just enough time to scramble aboard, find a seat, and wave goodbye to Tiffany before it pulled away. The festival runs until the end of October, so we might go back when I have my camera and more time and money to spare.

I also taught Tiffany, during a discussion about school pranks, what wedgies and wet willies are. I may come to rue the day that I imparted this knowledge to her, because she was all too eager to put it into practice.

For some reason, the Google search button in my version of Firefox keeps directing me to the Romanian version of the page. Clearly my computer has been possessed by the spirit of Vlad Tepes, and I must spend the rest of the morning figuring out why.
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Surprisingly optimistic [Aug. 21st, 2009|06:18 pm]
[mood | optimistic]

The Wise English training course ended yesterday afternoon on account of all EV teachers going into quarantine today. I'm not sure if we'll do anything else with the material we covered in it, but I'm reasonably proud of myself for missing only one question out of 70 on our final phonograms test. If nothing else, it was a great help in teaching me that English spelling rules aren't as horribly illogical and inconsistent as I'd come to believe...and an effective way to disprove George Bernard Shaw's famous quip.

Now, those who read the first sentence of that last paragraph or those who live in or around Paju may have noticed that I said "quarantine" and started fearing for my safety. Before anyone assumes that I'm typing this entry from my deathbed in a hospital, allow me a chance to share some more details.

For once, the VIP students were not the biggest threats to our health this last month. In addition to VIP, EV ran a drama program for adult students, and some of them were found to be carriers of swine flu late last week. Several staff members who came into contact with them were tested, but only one showed symptoms and tested positive for swine flu. She was immediately quarantined, all of the OWP students were sent home, EV was closed to visitors, and all staff members were required to work the same shift so that they could be tested for flu-like symptoms at the beginning and end of each workday. This raised many concerns about potential health risks and uncertainty about who was infected and might pass the disease on to other people (due to the flu's 4-10 day incubation period), so it was announced on Thursday that EV would remain closed to the public and all teachers would work from home until the danger of a local swine flu outbreak had abated.

There's bad news and good news that goes along with the events of the past week. The bad news is that I was around the teacher who tested positive for swine flu on Sunday, the day before she was quarantined. The good news is that I haven't shown any symptoms of illness and I'll still be able to take my vacation as long as I don't become feverish between now and tomorrow morning. Considering that the rate of infection is about 1.4% and the infected teacher has been rapidly recovering, I'm much less worried than I was initially. As long as my herculean immune system keeps me in good health, there's no cause for concern.

Now, I must forage for dinner and pack my bags while the evening is still young. I'll bring my American cell phone home with me, and I plan to make a few phone calls when I arrive in Houston on Saturday night. Wish me a safe flight, and I'll see some of you soon.

To my dear friends and coworkers in South Korea, take care and try not to succumb to cabin fever in the coming week. Having one epidemic around here is bad enough.
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"Teacher, what is 'gay'?" [Aug. 18th, 2009|12:52 am]
[mood | mellow]

The title of today's entry comes from a VIP student and talented young singer who took the English name of Jimmy. In addition to this gem of a question, I remember him for saying, "We have human rights!" after being told that he or his peers "must" or "had to" do something. I didn't have the heart to dispel his illusions.

I went to a farewell party for Tony and Tonya last night. The theme was anything but clothes, and I came with nothing but a towel and a camera. Naturally, I took plenty of photos, none of which are likely to be used for blackmail unless I make a lot of enemies in the next few months.

The first Wise English lesson mainly focused on phonics rules and the method of writing cursive letters. It was a good review of some basic concepts I learned in 1st and 2nd grade, and I can see its potential applications in teaching English to nonnative speakers. I've heard that the curriculum on which we're being trained is supposed to run for seven years, and it's best to expose students to it as soon as they start learning the language, so I'm not sure how much of what we're learning will be applied at EV. Regardless, we're learning and relearning lots of information that is crucial for English teachers, and I'm anticipating the linguistics lessons that the trainer has said will follow.

By the way, for anyone who's wondering, my tentative itinerary for the trip home looks like this:

Saturday, August 22, 7:41 PM - Arrive in Houston. Be picked up from airport by parents. Spend evening with family.
Sunday morning - Get in car. Make sure car still runs. Spend 8 hours driving to Tulsa. Spend evening with various friends.
Monday - Get hair trimmed and look for dark green hair dye to finish preparations for Halloween. Buy thoughtful gift for girlfriend and new PSP games to occupy self during spare time. Spend afternoon and evening with various friends.
Tuesday - Spend time with various friends.
Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning - Drive back to Houston. Spend rest of time in U.S.A. with family.
Saturday, August 29, 7:07 AM - Begin series of flights back to Korea.

Specific plans are still nebulous, but anyone who wants to make a special request should drop me a line. I won't be back home for long, but I plan on using my time to its fullest.
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"My friend had to ride in ambulance because of your bad breath smell." [Aug. 16th, 2009|05:15 am]
[mood | satisfied]

The title of today's entry comes from one of my more memorable VIP students. She was young, spirited, and more than a little obnoxious, but she had many talents and a strong grasp of English. She is not, however, the one who sent me this postcard; that honor belongs to another precocious young girl who took quite a shine to me. (Some more postcards that I've received recently can be seen here.)

The postcard and the files on my flash drive are the only souvenirs I have of this VIP. I'm glad to go back to teaching 8th graders and even gladder that I didn't pick up any potentially fatal diseases from the mobile biological warfare facilities who spent the last month here, but I'll genuinely miss many of the students. Among the ones I'll miss most will be the members of the Voice Acting club, who impressed me with their dedication and the quality of the videos they dubbed. Maria organized these videos into an awesome slide show, and it filled me with pride to see it presented at the closing ceremony for the clubs. There were some rough patches along the way, but the club was ultimately a success and I hope to see it revived for the next VIP. At the very least, it'll give me another chance to enthrall a few dozen students with my Homer Simpson and Pikachu impressions.

Unfortunately, we had to bid farewell to several popular and talented EV teachers over the course of VIP. I had a couple of wild nights out with Kris before he left, and I took some pictures to preserve them in memory. I also went to a farewell luncheon for Kori, spared a few thoughts for the American Maria as she slipped away like a stray cat, and will most likely be attending an interesting theme party to bid Tony and Tonya farewell on Sunday night. Cathy, Chris, and Melissa also left EV to continue life's grand adventure elsewhere. All of the departed will be missed, but I think the new teachers have a great deal of talent between them and will make quality replacements for the old guard.

Aside from the maudlin moments, I had a very enjoyable week. I spent a couple of hours playing Magic: The Gathering with a few of my fellow teachers on Wednesday night, and used some borrowed cards to design a deck that performed unexpectedly well. I had enough fun that I've decided to come out of retirement for the third time, which might be the most expensive mistake I've made in years. I figure I'll see what the latest sets have to offer and possibly try to exhume and use the metric shitload of cards I have back home before I start seriously trying to get rid of my collection, though I'll probably wind up with even more cards that will sit in boxes collecting dust once I leave South Korea.

I've also discovered that the Magic players and others like them are fans of anime. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Since I accepted the responsibility of caring for Shawn's turtles during his trip to Busan, I decided not to go drinking on Friday night and fell asleep early in the evening. I did, however, find time to come to Seoul for several hours on Saturday, all of which I spent with Tiffany. We ate a late lunch of seafood shabu-shabu, and she presented me with a couple of new shirts to make up for losing her birthday present and thank me for buying many meals, drinks, and other special things for her while she was unemployed. Afterward, we went looking for a club to see a choreographer's showcase to which she'd been given two tickets. She had only a vague and confusing map to find the club, and it was so inconspicuous that almost no one she asked knew how to get there, but we managed to find it right before the dancing started. I met one of the teachers who choreographed the dances; she was timid and spoke very little English, but I felt that she would have been a great person to talk to if there hadn't been such a massive language barrier. The dances themselves were amazing, and not just because the average Korean woman can tie her body in at least two more knots than the average Western woman. One of the dancers, who sported a topknot, a pink leotard, and a fan, reminded me of a geisha, and she extended a hand and invited me to the dance floor when she saw me sitting in the crowd. Tiffany did not object, so I spent a minute or so dancing with the geisha and two other lovely ladies before taking a bow and returning to my seat. My efforts earned me a round of applause, which was a far more positive reaction than I'd expected. Even more amusing was the fellow who got dragged onto the dance floor when the female dancers dressed up as B-girls, then shoved back in the direction of the bench when the male dancers took the floor. It was all quite a spectacle, and the least I could do was give the dance teacher a thumbs up as Tiffany and I left the club.

My only regret is that I forgot to bring my camera to Seoul that night. It's a shame, because I would have loved to catch the choreography on film.

This coming week, too, should be exciting, and not just because it's the last one before a week-long trip to the United States. I'll be participating in a Wise English training program that runs from 9-6 during the week, so I'll have to reset my internal clock tomorrow to properly prepare. Some of the trainees will be given the opportunity to obtain special certification through Harvard, which is quite an exciting prospect, and the training should help everyone who participates in becoming a more effective and skillful teacher. I'm looking forward to seeing what lies in store for us.

To sleep, perchance to dream.
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"He turned me on." [Jul. 26th, 2009|02:14 am]
[mood | tired]

The title of this entry comes from Mina, who learned over dinner several days ago how dramatically the meaning of a sentence can change by transposing two words.

Along with several of EV's other Harry Potter fans, I went and saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince the day it came out in Korea. What did I think of it, you ask? Well...

( If you don't mind the spoilers, read on. )

All told, it was my least favorite Harry Potter movie thus far, simply because of the sheer number of important scenes that didn't make it in. I have higher hopes for the last two movies, if only because they're so eventful that ruining them will be virtually impossible.

VIP officially started on Monday, which means that the stress of preparing for it has been replaced by the stress of making sure it runs smoothly. I prefer the latter kind of stress, because most of the things it requires me to worry about are things that are within my ability to control. In spite of a brief scare, my content area got all of the supplies needed to teach our new lessons, and we're quickly finding out how to teach them most effectively. That aside, the greatest challenges I've faced are adjusting to having Fridays and Saturdays off and keeping the older students in my house motivated without resorting to threats of violence.

My bank card has gone missing, and under a unique set of circumstances. Not only is this the first time in all the years of having a bank account that I've lost a card, but I'm nearly positive that I know where it is. Unless the kindly employees of The Frog and Toad have mailed it back to English Village, it might be simpler to cancel it and get a new one. I'll have to figure that out soon, because I don't have a great deal of pocket money to sustain me until I get a new card.

At least I didn't leave my liver behind this time.
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"I have a handsome uncle." [Jul. 15th, 2009|03:23 am]
[mood | happy]

I'd like to start by quelling the rumor that started circulating among my fellow teachers as we bade Marius and Hyojong farewell on Friday. Contrary to Brian's facetious remark, I still enjoy being a content area leader, and I don't intend to step down until an expiring contract, another promising position, a crazy scandal, or my own gross incompetence requires me to pass on the mantle.

I completed the last module in the TEFL course I've been working on late last week. I finished the follow-up questionnaire yesterday, so I should receive my certificate in about four weeks. It was a good exercise in consciousness raising, and I'd encourage more people who enjoy teaching English to nonnative speakers to take the course. Anyone who's interested in learning more about the course can read up on it here.

I'm still in the process of unpacking and finding a place for everything in my new apartment. A lack of clothes hangers and my own clumsiness, however, have made this a very slow process. I've broken two fluorescent light bulbs since I moved in, and I've been obsessively wiping up and bagging even the minutest pieces of glass I find to avoid making my living space overly hazardous. I fail at cleaning, but I win at environmental contamination.

In the unlikely event that I die or wind up with permanent brain damage as a result of mercury inhalation, I want all of my dear readers to...know...something...that...I'm sure I will remember later.

This weekend was eventful, but not in the same way as weekends past. Tiffany went to Changwon to visit her family, so I was free to socialize all weekend. I went out for dinner and drinks to bid Colleen farewell on Friday evening, and I was the only man talking to a party of four women by the time we were ready to call it a night. Nonetheless, we had a good crowd and a good conversation that covered many different topics. I went out for shabu-shabu on Saturday and Sunday night to welcome some newcomers to EV, and spent most of my waking hours replaying Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions. It's just as much fun the second time around, though I'm bitterly disappointed that I don't know anyone on the same continent who owns a copy of the game. If I did, the multiplayer missions would provide us with hours of entertainment.

Today, I braved a monsoon and got locked in the clinic. Thankfully, EV's resident kunoichi came along and freed me after getting a few chuckles at my expense. Were it not for Young Soon the Ninja Bank Lady, I'd probably still be in there wondering if I should swallow my pride and tell the head teachers that a room was trying to kill me.

Tomorrow, if all goes as planned, I'll be going to see the new Harry Potter movie after work. I'm quivering with anticipation at everything but the ending.
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"I gave him balls I didn't even know I had!" [Jul. 8th, 2009|02:35 am]
[mood | lethargic]

Thank you, Colleen, for giving me the title of this entry.

After spending many hours at a jjimjilbang in Seoul a couple of Saturdays ago, I've decided that they need to be introduced to the Western world. Any establishment at which one can shower, bathe in a spa, swim, sleep, see magic shows, watch movies, play video games, surf the Internet, and eat a good meal for less than $40 is an indisputably good thing. It's also a good way to overcome any insecurities about letting strangers see one's nude body. Perhaps I'm an oddball, a narcissist, or something worse, but I find it impossible to be insecure about my appearance when I'm in a room with several other naked men.

I can hear you snickering. Let me assure you that I am not amused.

I've been going on many other exciting adventures on my days off, including trips to Seoul Tower, Nami Island, and a couple of farewell dinners for longtime EV staff members. I've documented all of them with photos, as I am wont to do, and this one is easily one of my favorites. I may share the stories eventually...if I can remember to do so before they start running together in my mind.

As plans for VIP fall into place, so too do plans for Halloween. I went to Itaewon three weeks ago and ordered a custom suit. I came back to have it fitted the following week and was very pleased with its look and feel; all I have left to do now is pick it up from the tailor shop and find enough dark green hair dye to color the mighty fro I'll have come October, and my costume will be complete. Though I'm sad that Brook and I won't be able to coordinate costumes as we'd planned to do a few years ago, I might be able to convince a couple of my coworkers to go along with this crazy idea. It's worth a try, at least.

In other news, I'm now in a large apartment. It took me close to six hours of carrying things hither and yon and two hours of cleaning like a meth addict, but my old apartment is ready for a new tenant and everything I own in Korea is in my new apartment. It's clean, comfortable, and has a lot of empty wall space, though I'm not sure I want to spend the money on posters, wall scrolls, and other decorations that I'll either sell before I leave the country or spend vast amounts of money to ship back home. I'm toying with the idea of having a wild housewarming party; if I do, I will accept no excuses for absences aside from being dead or on another plane of existence.

I have countless other things on my mind, but they're best shared when I have more than a single sleepless hour ahead of me.
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"I will dong chim you and straight your hair!" [Jun. 25th, 2009|01:41 am]
[mood | stressed]

Looking back on my recent entries, I realize I've said very little about my students lately. This probably disappoints teachers in some parts of the world - not to mention my dear readers, who enjoy hearing about the antics of the Korean students I work with - and since I finally uploaded some pictures of postcards, this needs to be hastily rectified.

Last month, I worked a 9-5 shift for the first time since I came to English Village. A good homeroom class can have a huge impact on how the week goes, and I was lucky enough to have amazing homeroom students every week of the month. All of them spoke English well and had very good attitudes, so it was easy to talk to them and joke with them in ways they could understand. One class with a particularly strong command of written English sent me some memorable postcards at the end of the week. Their artwork was equally memorable.

Incidentally, the title of this entry is a quote from one of my more spirited students. If any of my dear readers want to know what she was talking about, I invite them to look here...or, if they prefer to take a hands-on approach to education, here. No self-respecting teacher would allow a student to get away with threatening to shove a finger up his or her ass, so I warned her that I'd chokeslam her if she did it. The worst thing she did after that was draw a picture of me with straightened hair, which looked like the bastard lovechild of David Bowie's character from Labyrinth and Patrick from Spongebob SquarePants.

The last few weeks have also had their share of educational challenges. The week after I became a content area leader, I also worked with some children in a special program. They came in two groups of about a hundred students each, and each group stayed for three days. All of them were orphans or foster children, and their sponsor was a company called S-OIL. The company required us to deliver an oath that we would treat the children fairly and do our best to help them reach their full potential, which had never before happened in the history of EV. It was a little surprising, but considering the environments in which some of these children had probably been raised, it made sense.

The company also delivered its own 30-minute orientation...in Korean.

"But Devin," you say, "this should come as no surprise to you. You've lived in South Korea for the last ten months, and unless you've had your head buried in your ass the whole time, you must be used to hearing the locals speak their native language." This is entirely true, but I've also spent enough time at EV to know that we take our English-only policy quite seriously. The students who come here have an opportunity to improve their English by speaking it daily, and we encourage them to make the most of it. However, when the students sit through a half-hour orientation in their mother tongue immediately after arriving here, it undermines our efforts to create an English-friendly atmosphere. This led me to wonder how many of the students - or the S-OIL personnel - understood why they had come to EV.

Shaky as it was, this start did not mean that the week was fated to end in disaster. The students were arranged into small classes with a variety of age groups in each, and we mostly taught one at a time. The majority of the students were extremely inexperienced English speakers, but the older or more knowledgeable ones were more than happy to help the others. It was a good dynamic, and there was a strong spirit of camaraderie in the classroom. For this, I was thankful.

The hard part was dealing with the students who refused to try. I'm thoroughly convinced that some of the students who were part of the program had never heard English in their lives. Every time I told students the English equivalent of a Korean word or asked them to repeat an English phrase after me only to have them continue speaking to me in Korean, I wanted to throw up my hands in exasperation. I wish I'd had more time to work with these students, because three days wasn't nearly enough to reach the lowest of the low.

Consequently, I learned a few new Korean words while working with these students. I also got assessed. It wasn't the utter disaster I'd expected, though I think it would have gone much better if I'd been working with a more traditional group of students or a lesson I'd taught more than twice.

This week's students have been living tests of willpower. They're not bad kids, per se; they're just not used to being held accountable for their actions, and the instructions we've received this week have required us to be more heavy-handed than usual with discipline. This is a difficult transition for someone who tends to give students several chances to behave themselves, and it left me feeling especially bad when I brought a student to tears in my first class of the day.

On the bright side, Meg and I rocked my board game tonight, and she's an awesome cook. If I have any more good news to share before Friday, I just might die in ecstasy.
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Delightful twists of fate [Jun. 9th, 2009|02:33 am]
[mood | ecstatic]

This weekend was a good one. I still didn't feel like I was functioning at my peak on Friday, so I took a cab ride to the hospital on Saturday morning to make sure my night of unrestrained drinking at Jjoki Jjoki hadn't permanently damaged anything. The doctor spoke English well enough to understand my concerns, and he asked a few questions, drummed on my liver, and listened to it with his stethoscope before sending me off to do a urinalysis. The test results came back nominal, which was a huge relief to me.

Nonetheless, I plan on drinking much more conservatively in the future. I'm not sure if my body can't handle alcohol as well as it once could or I don't know my limits as well as I used to, but I do know that I don't enjoy spending days recovering from a wild night out and fearing that I've done irreparable damage to one or more of my internal organs. It might sound like I'm being overly cautious or a hypochondriac, but I'd prefer not to keep putting my health at risk. If I don't have the discretion to drink responsibly, it's best for me not to step out of my safety zone.

After hearing the good news, I completed another module in my TEFL course and spent the rest of the day relaxing and playing Civilization IV. I spent most of Sunday with Tiffany, and instead of explaining the minutiae of our time together in text, I'll direct my dear readers to the photographic account of it in my Flickr album and say that we're now a couple. I don't know how long it will last, but it's a good thing for both of us right now.

Anyone who wants to hear the full story is welcome to ask...when I'm awake again.
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This seems familiar... [Jun. 3rd, 2009|09:51 pm]
[mood | drained]

My head is swimming, which is due in no small part to having way too much to drink last night. Going out with friends was fun; spending the better part of today recovering from the outing was not. I still showed up to work, if only because I don't like to make other people pay for my own mistakes. I had to make a few emergency trips to the bathroom, but I was still capable of functioning in the classroom. I'm now eating a bowl of ramen, which I hope I'll be able to keep down more easily than the water and tea I drank all afternoon.

One of these days, I will learn where the fine line between being a drunken asshat and being a drunken asshat who's vomiting up his digestive system goes, and I'll never step over it again.

If I can take time off work at the beginning of July, I'm thinking of flying back to the U.S.A. for a week or so. I'll give a more definitive answer after I check ticket prices and make sure they agree with my bank account.

I have a lot of stories about students that I have yet to share. Methinks it's almost time for an update.
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"Get out of the street, goddammit!" [May. 30th, 2009|08:15 pm]
[mood | satisfied]

First, let me assuage the fears of anyone who's been following the news lately and is worried about my safety. I am alive and well, and North Korean saber-rattling has done little to diminish that. My South Korean coworkers are remarkably nonchalant about the whole business; they say that threats of war and invasion from the north have been commonplace for the last several years, and none of them have been carried out yet. Considering the strong sense of solidarity between the two countries, it seems extremely unlikely that North Korea would launch a nuclear strike against its more prosperous and better-organized southern neighbor, and there are thousands of well-armed soldiers stationed by the DMZ if they decide to do something as reckless and foolish as invading by land.

In short, until I get a warning of imminent danger from the U.S. Embassy and/or the South Korean government, I'm not going to fear for my safety. Depending on how China reacts to the test, the problem may take care of itself in short order.

This also means that I can't justifiably blame my lack of updates on the political turmoil. Between adjusting to my new leadership role and developing lessons and a club for VIP in July, I've never been wanting for things to do. Being a content area leader has presented me with a slew of new challenges, and not just because it's the first supervisory position I've ever held. I have to devote more time and energy to my job than I did previously, so I can't afford to be lazy or apathetic. This, in turn, means that my job is more demanding than it used to be, and considering that I'm a born perfectionist, it can be hard for me to do it as well as I'd like. I must often remind myself that my fellow teachers voted me in because I'm the best person for the job, and I cannot and will not let them down.

This is not to say that I regret taking the position, nor that my life has become agonizing or unbearable since I did. The tradeoff for the extra stress is that I feel a much greater sense of satisfaction when I do my job well, and I'm still free to go out and enjoy my time in Korea with a clear mind on my days off. I'm also slated to move into a big apartment at the beginning of June, which pleases me greatly. It'll give me a nice incentive to bring my PS3, Rock Band, and all of the necessary peripherals overseas and get some use out of them.

I've been staying active outside of work, as well. In addition to taking an online TEFL course and keeping up with various friends back home, I've been spending quality time with some fellow expatriates. Among them are the members of a writers' support group (which has offered some immensely helpful feedback on my story), my surrogate sister Carol, and her husband Will. The latter two came to EV for a visit a few weeks ago, and wound up meeting most of the foreign teachers when we went to the pub for dinner and drinks. It was apparently a very special night at the Double Decker, and since I had my camera with me, I was obligated to take photos of as many people as possible. Kyle borrowed my camera briefly and helped, and I "narrowly" avoided getting in a drunken brawl with someone built like Beowulf. All told, it was a good night, and I hope it gave Will and Carol reason to consider coming to work at EV in the future. I'd be absolutely thrilled to see some old familiar faces in Paju.

Last night, after many changes of plans, CSI got together for a content area outing. EV procured tickets to Ballerina Who Loves B-boy, and since most of us were free after work and many of us had yet to see a Korean musical, it seemed like a sound option. We took a bus into Seoul, walked past some riot squads that were in place to keep order during ex-President Roh Moo-hyun's funeral, and stopped at a Japanese restaurant for dinner, where I got to eat sushi for the first time in months. It was delicious and less expensive than sushi in the U.S., but like so many good things in life, it didn't last long enough.

Once dinner was finished, we took a short walk to the theatre, where we got our tickets and sat with many other EV faculty members who'd come to see the musical. I was expecting to hear a lot of dialogue and songs in a language I barely understand, but there was no speaking or singing at all. The performance was more like The Nutcracker, with the story of a B-boy and a ballerina who abandons her graceful style of dance for his hip and energetic style unfolding through interpretive dances. The dances were very impressive, and left us awestruck by the flexibility and balance the dancers displayed. There were some very humorous scenes, and some audience participation was encouraged - many people clapped in tune with the music, and I got a high five from one of the dancers as he ran through the aisles. One of the dancers publicly interviewed the EV staff, and even though I didn't understand the vast majority of what he said, the recognition was very flattering.

After the interview and a final dance number, the cast members invited the audience on stage to take pictures with them. Kris and I passed my camera around and took pictures with the male lead, female lead, and a backup dancer. Some chose to stay in Seoul awhile longer after leaving the theatre, but I'd had enough excitement for one night and decided to return to EV. I sat next to Mike on the bus, and the two of us had a lively conversation about many things geeky. (Will and Carol: I was right!)

Civilization IV still takes up far too much of my time. I can almost always emerge victorious on Warlord difficulty, but I get trounced on anything more difficult. I'm not willing to believe that I've hit my plateau yet, so I'll continue to experiment with different leaders and strategies until I find my winning formula or Shawn asks me to return the game.

Tiffany is back from the Philippines, and I'll soon be seeing her for the first time in three months. Excitement abounds.
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Less than inconceivable [May. 8th, 2009|06:51 pm]
[mood | pleased]

Today, Brian stepped down from his duties as Science & Invention CAL. At our content area meeting, we cast our votes for a new person to lead our content area.

Guess who won.
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